Photo by Ayo Ogunseinde on Unsplash
How to Stay Present: Cultivating Mindfulness and Self-Awareness in Everyday Life
We’ve all had that experience: you’re physically in one place, but your mind… oh, she’s everywhere else.
You’re stirring a pot of pasta but mentally composing an email. You’re on a date but thinking about that thing you said in high school that still makes you cringe. You’re in yoga class, trying to breathe, but your brain is debating whether to get bangs.
I lived there for years.
On stage as a professional dancer, my body was all sequins and spotlight, but inside, I was rehearsing every possible thing I’d done wrong that day — and a few from last week, just for good measure.
When my fiancé died suddenly, the autopilot kicked in hard. I performed life instead of living it. My smile was functional. My conversations were polite. But my presence? Gone.
And I know I’m not alone.
I’ve worked with women who are mothers, activists, teachers, artists, and caregivers. Women who can organize a carpool schedule, run a yoga class, make a lasagna, and troubleshoot Wi-Fi all in the same hour. Women who get the job done… but haven’t actually been in their own lives for months, sometimes years.
We wear the “good girl” badge like it’s Olympic gold — consistent, responsible, reliable — all while our joy withers in the corner.
That’s why I teach presence not as a luxury… Or a self-care trend, but as a lifeline.
Photo by Adam Winger on Unsplash
And it’s why my Radical Embodiment Method — Reflect, Release, Re-Envision, Re-Design — is at the heart of it.
Understanding Presence: It's More Than Just a Buzzword
Let’s be real, “presence” gets tossed around a lot in wellness spaces. It’s often presented as a serene, candlelit thing. But presence isn’t something you can only find on a meditation cushion.
It’s about noticing your life while it’s actually happening.
The spilled coffee and the sunbeam on the counter. The lump in your throat and the way your friend’s laugh makes you feel so much joy.
Here’s the truth, presence doesn’t mean constant peace and ease. Sometimes it means holding space for the chaos without trying to fix it.
I’m not going to tell you to wake up at 5:00 a.m., meditate for 90 minutes, and drink green juice before you’ve spoken to another human. I will tell you that you can be present in Target, in traffic, or while your teenager is explaining TikTok trends you don’t understand.
Radical Embodiment Step 1 – Reflect
Reflection is simply noticing: Where am I? What am I feeling? What’s going on in my body right now? And what is it that I actually believe?
I once had a student share that her reflection moment came while folding laundry. She realized she was holding her breath while pairing socks. That’s presence — catching yourself mid-autopilot and choosing to notice and breathe.
Debunking the Myth of Perfection
One of the greatest enemies of presence is the lie that perfection will get us there.
Perfectionism tells us: “Once everything’s under control, you’ll finally feel calm.”
But control, if left unchecked, is a moving target that quickly expands to all aspects of our lives, and the chase keeps us disconnected from reconciling our fears and insecurities.
I’ve seen it in so many ways:
The creator so focused on the perfect outcome that she misses the joy of being a artist.
The entrepreneur who spends months tweaking a logo instead of launching her idea.
The woman who can’t enjoy a dinner with friends because she’s rehearsing the “right” thing to say next.
I’ve been all three of those women… sometimes all in the same week!
The truth?
Perfection doesn’t create presence. It blocks it. Presence is showing up in the middle of the mess, unpolished and still worthy.
The Real Work: Self-Awareness and Mindfulness
Presence starts with seeing yourself clearly. Not just the flattering parts, but the full panorama.
A client I’ll call “Rachel” was the queen of the overcommit. Full-time job, PTA board, side hustle, meal trains for every neighbor in need. She was exhausted but proud of her “reliability.”
When we dug in, she realized she wasn’t doing it all because she loved it — she was doing it because she was afraid to let anyone down.
That’s the sneaky thing: overgiving often masquerades as generosity, but it’s fueled by fear.
Radical Embodiment Step 2 – Release
Release is about embracing the work, the deep work of reconciling, forgiving, and understanding yourself in such a deep way (the good, the bad, and the ugly) that no one can ever say, “I know you better than you know yourself.”
Which is total bollocks! And a very manipulative thing to say.
Being Present on the Hard Days
Presence doesn’t mean you’re happy all the time — it means you’re willing to stay with yourself, even when it’s rough.
I remember walking into a dance class furious over something that had happened earlier. Old me would’ve let that anger bleed into the room. Present me paused, acknowledged it, and took some deep breaths, connected with the students, and welcomed in gratitude.
I didn’t magically feel joyful, but I stayed connected enough to teach a beautiful class without my anger running the show.
We’ve all had to “show up” on a day when our insides were anything but ready. Presence is choosing not to unload your emotional leftovers onto everyone else and to find the hidden gems of gratitude, laughter, peace that are always at our fingertips.
Breaking Out of Old Patterns and Programming
Here’s where it gets real: most of us are operating from a script we didn’t write.
“Be nice.”
“Keep the peace.”
“Don’t rock the boat.”
We can stay in miserable jobs, draining relationships, or thankless roles — and call it loyalty.
One client realized she’d stayed in her role for 12 years out of “dependability.” Underneath? She was terrified of change.
Radical Embodiment Step 3 – Re-Envision
This is the fun step. Imagine what your life would look like if your yes and no were based on desire, not obligation. What if your loyalty was to your own joy?
Creating a vision is not about wishing for something, it is about connecting to yourself, aligning with your values, and taking yourself out of your comfort zone and stepping into the role of Creator!
Radical Embodiment Step 4 - Re-Design
Re-designing means building a life around what lights you up, even if it disappoints someone. When desire takes over, consistency becomes a natural byproduct, not a forced badge of honor.
3 Transformational Practices
1
Allowing for Uncertainty
We expect people — and ourselves — to be consistently predictable.
But life doesn’t work like that. People have moods. Things shift.
Being present means letting others be fully human, without scripting their responses or demanding perfection.
This flexibility? It’s a game-changer for your relationships — and your sanity.
2
Rest as a Sacred Practice
We’ve been trained to treat rest like a reward we have to earn — or worse, as proof that we’re lazy if we take it before the work is “done.”
But here’s the truth: the work is never done. There will always be one more email, one more load of laundry, one more “quick” task. If you wait until it’s all finished to rest, you’ll never rest at all.
Rest is not stepping away from life. It’s stepping back into yourself. It’s where your nervous system recalibrates, your mind stops chasing, and your creativity finally has space to show up.
3
Letting Go of the ‘Good Girl’ Badge
The “good girl” always shows up. She’s on time. She says yes. She delivers — even if it’s killing her.
We can consistently show up for things we hate and call it honor.
But presence asks: “At what cost?”
You don’t have to be perfect to be present. You have to be willing to meet yourself where you are with honesty, kindness, and a little humor.
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The moment you stop performing your life for other people’s comfort and start living it for your own joy — that’s when you come home.
Presence is the doorway. The Radical Embodiment Method is the map.
And the journey? That’s yours.
Daily Presence Practice
Reflect – Notice where you are, physically and emotionally.
Release – Let go of one “should” today.
Re-Envision – Imagine a truer, freer way to respond.
Re-Design – Take one small action toward that vision.