Practice, Practice, Practice: Why Participation Is the Key to Living and Growing

We’ve all heard “practice makes perfect.” But let’s be real—perfect doesn’t exist, and practice is rarely pretty. Practice looks like wobbling through a dance class after years away. Practice looks like filling out another job application after being ghosted by the last five. Practice looks like sitting across from someone on a date who talks about their cat for 90 minutes straight and choosing to laugh instead of running for the door.

That’s the heart of it: participation. Not waiting until life feels safe or certain, but showing up anyway. Again. And again. And again.

Because practice isn’t about polishing yourself into perfection. It’s about becoming someone who trusts herself enough to stay in the game.

But the truth? Practice is where confidence is built. Not in perfection, not in outcomes—just in the showing up.

Photo by Alex Shaw on Unsplash

And it’s why my Radical Embodiment Method — Reflect, Release, Re-Envision, Re-Design — is at the heart of building your confidence.

Why We Need to Practice Participating in Life

Here’s the truth: most of us would rather wait until we “feel ready” before jumping back into life. But readiness never magically shows up—it’s built through participation.

I remember when I first dipped my toe back into dating after years of avoiding it. Honestly? I wanted to quit before I even started. One date never showed up. Another talked about his ex for two hours straight. Another was so boring I caught myself planning my grocery list under the table. Every single time I thought, Why am I doing this to myself?

But here’s what I learned: the point wasn’t whether the date turned into “happily ever after.” The point was me practicing showing up. Practicing how I wanted to use my voice. Practicing being authentic instead of playing “good girl” and nodding politely. Practicing laughing at the absurdity instead of going home and crying into a pillow.

That’s the muscle participation builds. Not perfection. Not control. Just the simple, powerful act of stepping into your life—even when it’s awkward or disappointing—because every attempt strengthens your confidence and your self-trust.

Radical Embodiment Step 1 – Reflect

Before you step into a moment of participation (like a date, a conversation, or a new opportunity), pause and ask: “What’s true for me right now?” Naming it gives you solid ground to stand on.

The Importance of Accepting Our Feelings As We Participate

Here’s what women often tell me: “If I admit I’m sad, anxious, or lonely, I’ll never get out of it.” So they push it down. They slap on the “I’m fine” mask. And then they wonder why nothing changes.

But denying feelings keeps us in the rut. After my fiancé died, I tried to outrun grief by keeping busy, teaching, helping everyone else. On the outside? I looked consistent, dependable, the “good girl” who held it together. On the inside? I was lost.

It wasn’t until I practiced radical acceptance, saying, “Yes, I feel this ache in my chest. Yes, I feel the emptiness,” that I began to move through it. Not because I wallowed, but because I gave my body and heart permission to tell the truth.

Radical Embodiment Step: Release
When a feeling rises, notice where it lives in your body. Breathe love and light into that space. Let your body soften, instead of clamping down. That softening is participation, it’s letting your body lead the way out of stuckness.

Permission to Fail (And Why It’s Crucial)

When I say “practice,” women often roll their eyes. “Amy, I don’t want another thing on my to-do list.”

But practice isn’t punishment. It’s freedom. Think of it like going on a date, not everyone leads to The One, but each teaches you something: what you want, how you want to show up, when you’re shrinking back.

Radical Embodiment Step 2 – Release

Release is about embracing the work, the deep work of reconciling, forgiving, and understanding yourself in such a deep way (the good, the bad, and the ugly) that no one can ever say, “I know you better than you know yourself.”

Why Practice Matters (Even When It’s Hard)

Dating again, taking a new class, applying for a new job, basically trying something new can feel like banging your head against a wall.

Which is why practice matters, with each day, if we choose, we can become more resilient, enrolled in our commitment, and more knowledgeable about the subject, easing our anxiety and increasing our curiosity.

One of my clients went on three dates with a man she really liked, then he disappeared. No explanation. Just gone. She was furious with herself for “falling for it again” and wanted to delete every app on her phone.

But here’s what shifted, she realized that each date gave her the opportunity to practice in using her voice. She practiced saying what she wanted instead of shrinking. She practiced noticing how her body responded when she felt safe, or when she didn’t. She practiced listening for her own desires instead of trying to impress someone else.

Practice is never wasted. Even when it ends in silence.

Hesitation: The Hidden Symptom

I used to be a world-class hesitator.

My favorite trick? Having so many great ideas and conveniently forgetting each idea as each new idea popped up… instead of starting something scary. Dating profiles went half-written. Grant applications sat in my drafts folder.

Every “I’ll do it later” was really my confidence whispering, “I don’t think you can handle this.”

That’s the thing about hesitation: it’s not laziness, it’s fear that you don’t measure up. So practicing, and going outside of your comfort zone is so important when you feel stuck in your life.

Radical Embodiment Step: Reflect
When you notice yourself hesitating, pause and ask: “What am I afraid will happen if I do this?” Truth dismantles hesitation’s power.

3 Transformational Practices

1 Name What’s Really Happening

Before you spiral into “What’s wrong with me?”, pause and name the truth.
Example: “I feel disappointed this didn’t go how I hoped.”
Awareness interrupts old programming. Reflection brings compassion to the moment instead of shame.

2 Let the Judgment Move Through Your Body

Notice where frustration or self-blame lives, maybe a tight chest or heavy belly.
Breathe into that space and imagine exhaling the weight of the story, “It’s my fault.”
Let your body learn that disappointment isn’t danger—it’s simply energy ready to move.

3 Turn the Experience Into Information

Ask yourself: What did I learn about what I need, want, or won’t accept?
Use the insight to reshape your next action, whether that’s setting a clearer boundary, saying yes to the next invite, or resting for a bit before you try again.

Practice isn’t about perfection, it’s the sacred act of showing up for your life again and again, even when it’s uncomfortable, because every repetition builds trust, courage, and self-connection.

Click HERE To Receive Your Free Gift…

The Present Moment Reset!

The moment you begin to practice, you begin to truly live—not for approval or outcomes, but for your own joy.

Participation becomes the doorway back to yourself.

The Radical Embodiment Method is your map home.

And the journey? That beautiful, imperfect unfolding—that’s entirely yours.

Daily Presence Practice

Reflect – Notice where you are, physically and emotionally.
Release – Let go of one “should” today.
Re-Envision – Imagine a truer, freer way to respond.
Re-Design – Take one small action toward that vision.